HeartBroken...

So this past year has been very rough for me...with school...problems with life and my boyfriend. After many failed attempts...my boyfriend of 4 years and I had decided to give our relationship another shot because we had been together for so long...we felt that we should be able to work together and I BELIEVED him. He has had ups and downs with drugs, alcohol and identity issues but always supplied me with false promises of getting better and finding out who he really is and in the end...making our relationship better and what it used to be. However....after many lies...late nights of crying and yelling and not knowing where he was or what he was doing...IT IS OVER...once and for all...completely DONE. He broke my heart one too many times and to be completely honest...you can only waste so many tears on one person. He is no longer the person I was once dating and has not been for a very long time. He has took a turn for the worst and has ruined our relationship and brought the worst of me out. I have given my all in the relationship...always trying to hold it together and give him just one more chance so that maybe this will be the time that it works...but I can't do it anymore. Not only that...but how can a person continue to stay with someone when they no longer trust that person AT ALL! I have lost all trust in him and don't believe a word that has come out of his mouth for years. He has lied and hid stuff from me all the time and I continued to be the fool and stay. It should not be a common thing for a person to delete calls and texts from their cell phones with the hopes of hiding them or keeping them from another person...this however was my life...but I was on the receiving end. I was too blind...well maybe not...I guess maybe I didn't want to realize what he did to me or how many times he hurt me or the person that he brought out in me. I was so fun and carefree...but he turned me into a paranoid and controlling person because I felt that I had to know where he was at all times and know what he was doing...even though it didn't do a thing to help anything because he still did whatever he wanted and all along I was just wasting my precious time doing it. I would have to say though that out of everything that he has done to me...the information that I found out tonight was the most heartbreaking and painful information that I could ever find out...HE CHEATED ON ME. I have no idea as to how anyone could do such a thing to a person...but he did. I was on vacation last week with my sisters in Virginia...enjoying myself of course...with him texting me and calling me...acting like everything is normal. However...I came home on a Thursday night to a drunk Chuck...slurring his words and running into curbs and mailboxes...thinking that was bad enough...he did the same thing Friday night but got into a fight and got a bloody nose amd black eye...so why am I leading up to this point? Well because yet again he promised me the stars and said that WE would work out and then was all lovey-dovey with me all week...only to find out tonight that while I was on vacation...he got drunk and slept with some slutty, loser girl who lives upstairs in the apartment building...but then proceeded to not tell me and continue to text me the next day and act as if nothing happened. So you might be wondering how I found out? Well that is one crazy story...as is the rest of my life...So I come home from work tonight and start to make dinner as Chuck is at his AA meeting and everything is going smooth and he is acting completely normal. But then he gets a phone call to his phone and then all of a sudden a pound at the door is heard. So he goes to answer it and it is the girl that he slept with (but I don't know at the time) and she is yelling and cursing and telling Chuck that his life is over and I am completely lost...and then all of sudden she says "Yeah he cheated on you with me and he said that he doesn't wanna be with you anymore! Oh yeah and we fucked right then and there". I was just completely lost and clueless and astonished. I didn't want to believe it, but there it was...staring me right in the face...so then I ask Chuck and he is at first like "I don't know what she is talking about" and I knew right then and there that he was lying right to my face for the millionth time. He then just said that it was a mistake but didn't show any remorse at all. I then said it was over and that I never wanted to speak to him ever again and asked if he cared and all he had to say was that he "felt relieved" that it was over because all he hears from me is "bitching and complaining" and that just about killed me. How a person who I have stood by and protected and helped through everything could simply say that about someone that he has been together with for almost 5 years...I just felt like the whole thing was crazy and all a bad dream...but its not...it is very real and very heartbreaking...

So you may be wondering as to why I am sharing this here on my blog? Well that is because I will no longer allow myself to be treated that way ever again. I will not be lied to or cheated on or taken advantage of or badmouthed...I will not accept it anymore and refuse to let anyone else in my life who will do that. Yes this will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever do...but it has to be done...I have lost so much...respect for myself and self-esteem and self-worth...I am not the same person that I used to be and I blame it on the unhealthy relationship that I was in. This marks the beginning of my new life....I will continue on with my life and be very happy...I will no longer allow any man to make me feel that way again...I have realized that I love too deeply and hold on too hard even when I just need to let go. I was staying in this unhealthy relationship for far too long and it needs to change...I need to get myself back and start living life again...

I have realized that I LOVE like I SHOULD...but LIVE like I SHOULDN'T...but that will all change from this day forward...

Tis the Season for Grapefruit...

I'm not really a fan of grapefruit, but while I was shopping at Trader Joes, I found one that I thought was really pretty (I know right), so I decided to pick one up with hopes of finding a recipe for it later. Well, while browsing online for a recipe...I sliced up any citrus fruits that I had in the house and decided to make a little photo shoot. These are some of the photos...

Then after messing around a big with my camera...I decided that I better start making whatever it is that I was going to make. I was able to find a recipe for a grapefruit salad. It has a rather odd selection of ingredients...and although I didn't enjoy the outcome because I don't like grapefruit, my boyfriend thought it was amazing! Here it is!

Grapefruit Salad with Mint Yogurt Dressing

-2 Pink Grapefruit
-1.5 tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
-10 Ounces Seedless Grapes with the Stems Removed
-1 tbsp Honey
-2 Handfuls Raspberries
-12 Mint Leaves, Finely Shredded
-1 Cup Thick Plain Yogurt


Directions
-Peel and segment the grapefruit over a bowl and reserve any juices that drip from them.
-Heat skillet and add 2 teaspoons of oil and add grapes. Cook over high heat to blister them slightly, shaking the pan often to cook them evenly. Add the grapefruit juice and cook until it's almost evaporated, then add honey and bring to a boil. Then tip the product into a bowl and leave to cool.
-When the grapes are cool, add grapefruit segments, raspberries and remaining oil and gently toss.
-Mix the mint into the yogurt.
-To serve, spoon the fruit salad into 4 small bowls and dollop minted yogurt on top.

And this is what you get!

Marilyn Monroe

I just got finished watching How to Marry a Millionaire with no one other than Marilyn Monroe and Lauren Bacall. Being a huge fan of Marilyn's I decided to dedicate this post strictly to her beauty and fame.

What do I wear to bed? Why Chanel No. 5, of course....
-Marilyn Monroe

A thing of beauty is a joy forever...
-John Keats

Fantabulously Frugal Giveaway!

So I came across this website from the 20 Something Bloggers and absolutely love it! This blog lets you know all about free stuff that is being given away, discounts, sales and coupons as well as giveaways! I LOVE the blog and the fact that she shares this information with everyone!

During the month of May, she hosted 31 Days of Giveaways, however I was not fortunate enough to win one of her amazing prizes. But she is now offering a second chance! A HUGE giveaway with many great things with a value at about $300! Here is what she is giving away!

Fantabulously Frugal

• Decorative envelopes from Etsy seller Adnagam
• Frango Dark Chocolate Mints
• Sunshine Yellow Hair Pins from Etsy seller creamrose
• Purple Rain Amethyst Earrings from Etsy seller Sew*Cool Design
• Paperchase 8 Folded Cards with Envelopes
• Small change purse from Etsy seller Made by Hank
• Cucumber Melon Salty Soap Scrub from Etsy seller Sissy Soap
• Soap Nuts from Laundry Tree
• Spring Flower Garden Cupcake Liners from Etsy seller Layer Cake Shop
• 2 Vera Bradley cloth napkins
• Musings Recycled Notebook in Blue from Etsy seller subu
• Fleur de Lis Necklace from Etsy seller Bumble Beadz
• Marc Jacobs key fob
• Stationery and small letter-pressed notebook from Etsy seller Sarah Drake
• Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair Protective Recovery Complex
• Coriander Ivory Small Cosmetic Bag from Etsy seller The Sweet Sugar Beet
• Smashbox Lip Gloss
  
• Reusable Sandwich & Snack Bags from Etsy seller Green Street
• Reversible Coffee Sleeve from Etsy seller LilE
• Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
• OPI Nail Polish
  
• Stick With Me, Kid Shopping Tote from Etsy seller Earth Cadets
• As well as MANY MORE surprises!

So if anyone is interested, go to her blog and enter the giveaway! She gives you many chances, but you do have to work for it! Good luck!

Alicia

It's Summer Time!

So, as usual, once the spring semester ends I always spend some time thinking about how I will occupy myself over the summer and what new endeavor I will take on. This past week I got a pedicure and manicure and have been doing a little summer shopping here and there. However, I got to liking the whole pampering thing and have considered scheduling myself a massage along with a lot of other things. I love getting into the summer "mode" because you can get away with a lot during the summer whereas you can't during the other seasons.

I have been prepping my skin for the summer, using a variety of moisturizers and other random products, but one that I MUST rave about is a product from BLISS. It is a finishing foam with carrot sesame and honey and it works so well! I did not yet try the scrub but the finishing foam is great! You apply it to your damp skin and it sinks right in! I felt that it left my skin so silky smooth and it lasted a long time! But I just thought that I could share that little tid-bit with everyone!


I also had a Strawberry Mojito and felt that it was such a summery drink! So light, refreshing and sweet! I have posted the recipe below to share with everyone! Enjoy!

Strawberry Mojito

Ingredients

• 2 ounces white rum
• 10 fresh mint leaves
• 2 strawberries, halved
• 1/2 lime, quartered
• club soda
• 1 teaspoon sugar

Steps

1. Put lime, sugar, strawberries & mint in the bottom of a tall glass and muddle
2. Add ice, rum and fill to the top with soda and stir

What Do I Love About Summer?

Flip Flops!

Summer Nights

The Beach

Umbrella Drinks!

And so much more! But I thought that this post would get everyone ready for summer and vacations! Until the next time!

Alicia

Just Some Random Ideas...

So this post is going to be totally random, but I have so many cute ideas that I discovered over the weekend that I had to share! I spent my Memorial Day weekend up in the mountains in this itsy-bitsy, tiny, little town called Germania in Potter County, Pennsylvania. It was beautiful and very relaxing and remote. These are some of the things that I got to experience over the weekend.

Sun Tea

First off, being a HUGE fan of unsweetened iced tea, I loved brewing the stuff and never even heard about sun tea. However, while we were up there, my boyfriend's step-mother brewed some and it was delicious! Who would have ever thought to brew iced tea that way?

Strawberries In What?

I love to try new things and change and invigorate my palate once in awhile and was shockingly suprised when majority of the items prepared for my boyfriend and I contained strawberries. It was absolutely delicious, but very different. The people who live up there tend to use whatever grows wild up there and incorporates that into their everyday meals so I had a lot of strawberries and leeks, but not together. Some of these recipes included:

-Strawberry-Goat Cheese Bruschetta
-Pulled Pork with Strawberry BBQ Sauce
-Iceberg Lettuce & Strawberry Salad with Vinaigrette Dressing
-Parmesan-Stuffed Chicken and Melted Strawberries

Do You Buy And Support Your Local Farmers?

Farming is a type of lifestyle up there and it came to my attention that majority of these farmers are suffering due to the fact that we import a lot our products and no longer utilize our local goods. I therefore decided that I would start shopping locally for my fruits, vegetables, milk and meats and no longer buy everything from the grocery store.

Make Your Own Granola Or Bar!

When I came back to civilization after spending 3 days without cellphone service or internet, I checked my email and my mother had send me these websites where you can make your own granola or bar! Here are the websites if you want to check them out and give it a try yourself! I definitely plan on ordering some granola! The extra special touch is that you get to name your creation!


www.mixmygranola.com

www.youbars.com

Campfires

I never realized how relaxing they are...just sitting in front of the fire and watching the flames dancing upon the logs. It almost forces you to relax and invites you to forget about everything around you. You are thoughtless for the time being, only watching the flames and falling into a type of trance. It was so relaxing and the warmth of the fire created a cozy atmosphere, as the mountain nights get a little chilly.

Well that is about it for right now, but I just had to share some of these great ideas that I was either made aware of or was able to enjoy over the weekend.

Until the next time!

Alicia

The Doors of New Hope

I've been really into taking pictures since I got Cool Pics from my boyfriend for Christmas and I have been taking the most random, but beautiful pictures. I know it is not a fancy, high-tech or any kind of special digital camera, but I love it and have been recently experimenting with it. I thought that I would share some of the cute pictures that I took while on a little day trip to New Hope. I've always loved looking at the doors of people's houses and feel that they can say a lot about the character of the house. Personally, I love the French double doors, but I was not able to find any of those to take pictures of, but I did find some charming ones. Looking at doors always make me think about what type of character is locked up inside of them or what lies behind them. But anyway, enough of the random talk, here are some of the pictures. Just thought that I would share!

Alicia

These are some of the beautiful old homes.

These are some of the cute little shop and cafe signs.

These are some of the doors.